what is (and what is not) psychotherapy
Most people have some idea. There have been attempts to define what psychotherapy is by people, doctors, and the media, e.g. movies and television.
The “psych-” part of the word comes from the Greek word psyche, which means breath, principle of life, or soul. It also considered to refer to the “mind” and mental processes: thinking, feeling, belief systems, behavior, memory, etc. The word “therapy” comes from the longer Greek root word “therapeutic” which is defined as “to attend to” or “to treat”.
Putting it together, “psychotherapy” means to attend to the mind and its associated mental processes. It is the mind and associated mental processes (thoughts, feelings, and beliefs) that people respond to (acts and behaviors). Mostly these thoughts, feelings, beliefs and the resulting behaviors are “healthy”. For example, the “love” of a child, partner or spouse, that leads to care and support.
However, psychotherapy is also a “process” whereby emotional and behavioral difficulties are treated through communication and relationship factors between an individual and a therapist. The relationship between an individual (often referred to as a patient) and a therapist is strictly professional. The “therapeutic” relationship exists only and solely for the purpose of helping a person get to a point of change. The therapist is there for the patient and expects nothing in return but payment for their time.
This is important. The therapeutic relationship differs from all other relationships. You can tell therapists things without worrying about your information being told to others or in any way affecting your job, family or relationships. You can be honest with therapists without having to worry about offending friends or neighbors. When a therapist asks how you are doing, they really want to know. This is different from casual conversations in which the person who asks the questions expects you to say, "OK" so he or she can tell you how they are doing. Another aspect of the therapeutic relationship is that therapists reveal little about themselves to patients, though patients are often curious. This attempts to ensure that therapists do not do anything to change how individuals present themselves. Extending the relationship beyond the therapeutic setting can damage the therapeutic relationship affecting the process of change.
Having learned about and treated people with your difficulty before, therapists can then attempt to apply this understanding to your particular situation. They know what questions to ask and might pose questions you have never heard before and – particularly important for change – help you make connections between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you may have never thought of before so you can consider the degree of change needed and the steps that may be necessary.
What Psychotherapy is Not
While family or friends can help you feel better or even provide good advice for change, this is not psychotherapy. Psychotherapy is a professional relationship between a therapist and a client based on therapeutic principles, structure and technique the therapist is trained in and experienced. It differs from other relationships in several ways.